This post is a little different from what I usually share.

It started with a note I shared recently about the innocent, child-like way in which my granddaughter explained her understanding of the gospel to her mom:

Adam and Eve broke the rules and were put in prison.

Because of that we were all born in prison.

But Jesus came and opened the prison doors.

Now everyone gets to decide if they want to walk out of prison or not!

When I shared this note, I guess I was hoping it may encourage a few people.

What I didn’t anticipate was the incredible outpouring of support and interest it has generated.

As I’m writing this post, we stand at 6,133 likes and 787 re-stacks and counting – to me that is just mind-blowing.

And while it’s not about the numbers, or maybe it is, I do believe the Father is teaching me something through this.

Apart from confirming the hunger for a simplified explanation of the gospel, there’s a deep, unshakable feeling taking hold within me that this simple note is meant for more.

It may be the evangelist in me, having spent 14 years in full-time ministry, but I have a genuine desire for the whole world to know how deeply loved they are by Jesus.

However, since starting this Substack in January, the Lord has made it clear that my specific mission here is to encourage His sisters on how to set godly, spiritual boundaries to honour their identity and calling in Christ.

So, I’ve been sitting with Jesus asking for permission to share my heart, and asking how the analogy of a "prison" fits with the theme of "boundaries."

The thought that immediately came to mind was this:

If God hadn’t put that boundary in place in the Garden, we would all still be in prison with no way out.

The Boundary of Tough Love

We read about this “boundary” in Genesis 3 v 24:

After he drove man out, he placed on the east side of the Garden of Eden cherubim and a flaming sword flashing back and forth to guard the way to the tree of life.

Why We Needed That Boundary

We read in Genesis 1 v 26:

Then God said: “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness,”

Something we need to understand about God is that He is a God of relationships. Not some far-off creator of the universe who created us and then left us to get on with it.

No, He desires nothing more than an intimate, personal relationship with each of His children.

For those of us who are parents, let’s think back for a moment to the time our children were born – it didn’t take long before people started saying “Ooh, he/she looks just like his/her father or mother.”

How proud did it make you feel when people said things like that?

I can imagine God’s excitement at the thought of creating children who would be just like Him, full of everything good and knowing everything that would be possible for them as His children.

He Gave Us More Than Breath

When He breathed life into man, he wasn’t simply blowing air into his lungs, he was breathing the breath of life, His very Spirit into him.

A spirit that carries His DNA and was meant to display the fruit of the Spirit, His character.

We were meant to display His love, his joy, his peace, his patience, his kindness, his goodness, his faithfulness, his gentleness, and his self-control.

Everything that is part of His character, is part of who we are meant to be.

These characteristics were given to us, they’re not something we have to work at achieving.

So when Adam and Eve disobeyed God (broke the rules) about not eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, He, knowing what was about to take place, had no other option but to prevent them from also eating of the tree of life and living in that fallen, disobedient state forever, with no way back.

Hence, we see Him driving them out of the garden and putting the boundary in place. Both to prevent access to the tree of life, and to protect the future of his children.

Boundaries are always about protecting our identity and calling in Christ.

God Hates What the Enemy Has Done

Psalm 5 v 4-6

For you are not a God who is pleased with wickedness,

With you, evil people are not welcome.

The arrogant cannot stand in your presence.

You hate all who do wrong;

You destroy those who tell lies.

By deceiving God’s children into disobeying their Father and following him, Satan had essentially abducted us.

It broke God’s heart that He had to practice “Tough Love” and let his children go (to prison) because He knew what suffering awaited them when they were no longer in His presence – which is what the Garden of Eden represented.

God Acknowledges His Part

We see in Jeremiah God acknowledging the part He played in the suffering of His children.

Jeremiah 32 v 42:

“This is what the Lord says:

As I have brought all this great calamity on this people,

So I will do all the good I have promised them.

Now in the context of this verse, it was spoken during the Babylonian siege of Jerusalem, a time of extreme suffering for the Israelites.

But it’s equally true of how He felt about having to send His children out from His presence, because all the suffering the Israelites endured was a direct result of that first instance of disobedience to God.

He knew what was awaiting His children in a world governed by the devil, but He also never forgot the plans He had in mind for them. Plans to set them free.

Jeremiah 29 v 11

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”

Jeremiah 29 v 14

“I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity”. (I will bring you out of prison)

So, when God put that boundary in place, and drove His children from the garden and out of His presence, He knew exactly what He was doing.

These were not the actions of an uncaring, unloving God, but of one who loves His children with an everlasting love, even though He knew they would betray Him.

He was making a way to get His children back, and He knew that would only be possible through His first-born Son, (our Brother) Jesus Christ.

It Had Always Been The Plan

We tend to think that God came up with the plan to rescue His children after they chose to disobey him, but that’s not the case.

Revelation 13 v 8

All inhabitants of the earth will worship the beast – all whose names have not been written in the Lamb’s book of life, the Lamb who was slain from the creation of the earth.

1 Peter 1 v 20

He was chosen before the creation of the world but was revealed in these last times for your sake.

We see here that the Father and Son established an eternal plan of redemption, even before the earth was created.

God, being all-knowing, knew beforehand that His children would disobey him and be thrown into prison.

As a result, through no fault of our own, we were all born in prison, with the sinful nature of our earthly father, the devil.

Jesus Opened The Door

Jesus set the opening of the prison doors in motion the moment He entered Mary’s womb.

His life here on earth was about way more than dying on the cross for our sins. He spent His whole life demonstrating to us what it looks like to display the image of God, in whose likeness we were created. He was the perfect image of God.

It’s important to remember, that while He was on earth, He was no longer acting as God.

He came in our likeness as a human being, but without the sinful nature of the devil, so that He could stand in the gap for us and take the punishment we deserved.

Just like someone who abducts a person claims a ransom before letting them return to their loved ones, Jesus came and paid the ransom by exchanging His life for ours, so we could be returned to our heavenly Father.

You Have A Choice

After Adam and Eve made the choice to disobey God, He could easily have decided that mankind couldn’t be trusted to make wise choices and taken that privilege away.

But He didn’t. Still today we have the choice to decide how we want to live and where we want to live.

John 3 v 16

For God so loved the world (you) that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish (stay in prison), but have everlasting life.

The choice is yours – are you happy living in prison, in the darkness, or are you ready to return home, to the Kingdom of your heavenly Father?

Jesus has opened the doors of the prison and made a way for you to be returned to your loving Father.

Colossians 1 v 16

He has delivered us from the power of darkness (from prison) and returned us to the kingdom of the Son He loves.

Jesus isn’t waiting for you to decide to follow Him before He opens the prison doors, He’s already done it - for every human being that ever walked the face of this earth, and that ever will.

My Story:

This is where I felt the Holy Spirit nudge me to share my own story with you – so here goes.

As a young child I never really knew if God was real. Mostly when I heard His name being spoken, it seemed to be used more as a curse word.

Still, I remember making “deals” with this God I wasn’t even sure existed, hoping that He would hear me.

To make a long story short, I married at the age of 19, and although my husband is a good man, our marriage, like most others, suffered its share of challenges.

To be honest, there was a time I would pray to this “uncertain God” to help me make an end to everything. Praise Him, He knows which prayers to answer with a firm “No”!

In 1989, at the age of 29, I’d finally had enough. I fell on my knees at the foot of my bed and said:

“God, if you are real, you need to come and take over my life – I cannot, and don’t want to continue without you!”

That’s it. Those were my exact words.

I then fell asleep, and when I woke a couple of hours later, I could feel in my spirit that something had changed.

The challenges of life were still there, but the way I handled them started to change.

Then, a couple of weeks later, my husband and I had an argument. It upset me so much, the thought that I could still behave like that when I was supposed to be a child of God, that I started questioning if I really was His child.

In tears, I randomly reached out to a “daily bread” ornament on a shelf and took out a scripture card.

What I read on that card, once again brought me to my knees:

Isaiah 43 v 1

Fear not, for I have redeemed you;

I have called you by your name,

You are Mine.

Wow! I remember feeling so loved and so seen, and so forgiven in that moment – there was no more doubt that God is real, or that I am His child. I still get goosebumps remembering that day.

Am I a perfect, well-behaved child – no! But I now understand that becoming the daughter of God I was meant to be, created to reflect His image, is a journey.

One that I don’t have to face alone because He is right here with me, slowly transforming me into the daughter He dreamed of.

But it all started when I fell on my knees and surrendered my life to God.

Philippians 2 v 13

“… for it is God who works in you to want to, and to do His good pleasure.”

Another Wow! After years of trying in my own strength to be a “good” daughter of God, I finally understand that it’s not all up to me – instead, I get to co-operate with Him in my transformation.

What’s Your Story?

Have you walked out of that prison cell yet?

In Luke 4 v 18-19 we find Jesus in the synagogue, just after He’d been tempted by the devil, reading from the book of Isaiah:

“The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me,

Because He has anointed Me to proclaim good news to the poor;

He sent Me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners

And recovery of sight for the blind,

To set the oppressed free,

To proclaim the year of the Lord’s favour.”

When Jesus spoke about the “Year of the Lord’s Favour” he was referring to the Old Testament Year of Jubilee, a year when all debts were cancelled, all slaves were set free, and all land was returned to its original owners.

By quoting this, Jesus was saying:

“I am the ultimate Jubilee. I’m here to cancel your spiritual debt and return you to your rightful place as a child of God.”

You don’t have to remain imprisoned. Your debts (sins) have been cancelled (forgiven).

Jesus has made the way for you to be returned to your heavenly Father. What will you choose? To stay in prison, or walk free?

Romans 10 v 9

If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord”, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. (You will be set free).

Jeremiah 29 v 13

“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart”.

John 3 v 16

For God so loved the world (you) that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

It’s as simple as falling on your knees before Him and saying “I’ve had enough, I want to come home”!

A Last Word

For those of you who have already chosen the freedom that Christ gave His life for, if you think this post can help someone else, please feel free to share it with them. You may just give someone the courage they need to finally take that step.

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As the wife of a sheep farmer, I see the necessity for a “Pillar of Protection” every single day.

As the sun begins to set here on the farm, the environment changes.

We can’t just leave the sheep to fend for themselves in the dark; we must ensure they have safe, secure fencing to protect them from the danger of foxes and other predators, especially during lambing season.

For our sheep, that protection looks like an electric fence / boundary that encloses them at night.

As shepherds of our flock of sheep, we know that without a boundary, they may well be attacked and killed.

We Need Protection Too

The same is true for us as daughters of God, and leaders in ministry.

If we don’t put up boundaries of protection around our thoughts, our physical, emotional and spiritual limits, we’re in danger of becoming overwhelmed, depleted, and spiritually worn out.

That’s exactly why we often begin to feel like we’re drowning under the weight of expectations. Expectations we put on ourselves, and the expectations of others.

If we don’t make time to rest and sit at the feet of Jesus so we can be spiritually replenished, to set our limits and priorities, we’re in danger of becoming ineffective in our calling.

Even The Good Shepherd Needed Rest

We read in the Word, of Jesus referring to himself as the Good Shepherd, our Shepherd, but even He needed to create boundaries to protect his own rest and time with the Father.

Let’s look at some of the ways He did that:

Jesus Protected His Own Spiritual Stamina

Luke 5 v 16

So He Himself often withdrew into the wilderness and prayed.

We often see this. When he’d been ministering to someone, that person would go off and tell others, even though Jesus sometimes told them not to, and suddenly there were crowds of others wanting His teaching or healing.

But Jesus didn’t always attend to them immediately. He understood that ministering to people can be spiritually exhausting, so He sometimes withdrew to somewhere where he could be alone with His Father.

If you don’t make time alone with the Father a priority, you will soon be trying to serve from an empty cup. If Jesus needed rest, you certainly do too.

He Protected His Mission

John 6 v 15

“Jesus, knowing that they intended to come and make him king by force, withdrew again to a mountain by himself.”

Jesus knew what His mission was here on earth, but others were trying to make Him carry a load that was not his to carry.

He was clear on what His calling and purpose were and wouldn’t accept anything that wasn’t in line with that calling.

We must do the same. Don’t allow yourself to be tasked with something that doesn’t align with the specific calling God has given you. Not every load is your to carry.

He protected what was sacred from mockery

Luke 23 v 8.9

He plied him with many questions, but Jesus gave him no answer.

It’s important to know when to give and answer and when to remain quiet.

1 Peter 3 v 15

… Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.

If someone is genuinely interested in hearing about you faith and hope in Christ, you are always to be ready with an answer.

But, if you sense someone is trying to make a mockery of your faith, or of your calling, sometimes the best thing is to remain quiet.

No every question deserves an answer.

He protected His Physical and Emotional Capacity.

Mark 6 v 31

Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”

Jesus was not a “yes – man” who ignored His human limits. He slept in storms, ate with friends, and encouraged His disciples to come away and rest with him when the pressure of ministry became overwhelming.

He was not concerned about hurting anyone’s feelings by taking a step back from time to time. He knew that His ministry would still be there when He got back.

But He also understood that if He didn’t make time to rest and eat, He would be less effective at what His Father had sent Him to do.

You need that same awareness. God does not expect you to be super-human and work until you drop. Taking care of your body and spiritual stamina is not only about protection, but about good stewardship too.

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Re-enforcing Your Identity in Christ

In our life on the farm, the electric fence is more than just a deterrent for predators; it is a declaration of what’s inside and who it belongs to.

It defines the space where our sheep are free to be exactly what they are, sheep - safe, fed, and known.

As a woman in leadership, the pillar of protection, your spiritual boundary, acts as a stronghold for your identity.

Without this pillar, the “pull of the world” will start to act like a slow, steady tide, gradually eroding your sense of who and what God has called you to be, until eventually, you’re living a life shaped by everyone else’s demands rather than by His design.

A Pillar of Protection Serves Three Vital Purposes:

It Guards Your Identity:

The world will always try to tell you who you are based on your level of productivity or your “usefulness” to others.

Even though you are called to serve, a spiritual boundary is the barrier that says, “My identity and calling is rooted in being a daughter of God, not on being a servant to all.”

It Protects Your Specific Calling:

It’s easy to feel the need to say “yes” to every request for help, or to every new opportunity that appears, but Jesus was clear about His specific mission and wouldn’t let anything deter him.

By building this pillar, you’re protecting the integrity of the specific flock (calling) God has placed in your hands to shepherd.

When you protect the integrity of your flock by not allowing yourself to be distracted, you’re showing your commitment to keeping your calling pure and undivided, rather than letting it be scattered or thinned out by outside pressures and expectations.

It Builds Resilience Against the Pull of the world:

The world has a way of trying to force us into doing things it’s way.

A spiritual boundary is your internal re-enforcement. It gives you the structural integrity to withstand the pressure to conform to what others expect of you, allowing you instead to focus on what God has called you to be and do.

Romans 12 v 2

Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.

From Passive Observer to Faithful Protector

When we fail to set boundaries, we become passive observers of our own lives - drifting wherever the strongest current takes us.

But when we build a Pillar of Protection, we become faithful stewards of the life and calling Christ died to give us.

Then we aren’t just saying “no” to people; we’re saying “Yes” to the integrity of our calling.

We’re ensuring that when the world pulls, we can remain anchored in Him.

You don’t need to apologize for guarding the life and calling God has entrusted to you.

A leader without godly, spiritual boundaries, is a leader who will eventually be distracted and ineffective in her calling.

“A spiritual boundary is not a wall of exclusion, but a stronghold of identity. It ensures that the world’s expectations never drown out God’s instructions.”

The Three Pillars for Godly Boundaries

Over the last few weeks, we’ve explored what it means to build a life and ministry supported by godly, spiritual boundaries.

These aren’t walls intended to shut the world out; they’re the structural supports that allow you to stand firm in your calling.

Pillar One: Holiness.

Holiness is the foundation. It establishes that you are set apart and sacred to God. When you embrace your holiness, you gain the quiet confidence to say “no” to anything that contradicts who God says you are.

See holiness as your “why” for setting godly boundaries.

If you missed the first in this series, you can read it here.

Pillar Two: Stewardship.

If holiness is your “why” for setting boundaries, then stewardship is your strategy, or your “how”.

It recognizes that your time, energy, and talents belong to Him. By managing these resources wisely, you filter out seemingly “good” opportunities so you can give your best to your specific, God-given assignment – working as for the Lord and not for man.

Good stewardship ensures your life and calling produce the most fruit for the Kingdom.

If you missed the second part of this series, you can read it here.

Pillar Three: Protection.

Protection is your spiritual re-enforcement, your stronghold.

Like the electric fence that protects the sheep on the farm, this pillar protects the integrity of the specific flock the Lord has entrusted to you – your life and your calling.

It guards your identity and calling against the “pull” of the world, ensuring that your mission isn’t trampled by the expectations of others.

To help you practice saying “no”, I’ve created a Godly “No” Cheat Sheet. You can find the link below.

Next Steps: Putting the Pillars into Practice

Learning to set godly boundaries is a process, much like learning to walk in the new life you have in Christ. It’s not a one-time event.

As you look at your life this week, I encourage you to take these three steps:

The Holiness Audit:

Ask yourself, “Is there any area of my life where I’m allowing something to negatively influence me - my thoughts, actions, or decisions - that doesn’t align with who God says I am?

Identify one commitment or habit that doesn’t align with your identity in Christ and decide how you’re going to change it.

It may be a good idea to keep a journal for making notes and keeping yourself accountable as you do this.

The Stewardship Check:

Look at your calendar for the coming week. Which tasks are truly your “entrusted flock,” and which are the “stray sheep” you’ve picked up out of guilt, or from fear of not wanting to say “no”.

Practice saying a “godly no” to one distraction.

To help you with this I’ve created a downloadable Godly “No” Cheat Sheet for you to use.

The Protection Prayer:

Spend ten minutes at the feet of the Good Shepherd.

Ask Him to show you where your boundaries have been compromised, or where you need to work on setting godly boundaries.

Ask for the strength to re-enforce your Pillar of Protection so that you can serve from a place of replenished overflow, rather than from exhausted depletion.

You were never meant to carry the weight of the world - only the beautiful, specific mission God placed in your hands.

Practice standing firm in the pillars of holiness, stewardship and protection, and watch how God uses your healthy, godly boundaries to strengthen you and bring forth a bountiful harvest.

Don’t forget your Godly “No” Cheat Sheet.

If you have any experience or ideas to share on setting godly boundaries, please feel free to share in the comments.

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Last week, in Part One, we saw how choosing to say “no” to worldly behaviours and thought patterns, not only confirms who we are, but also protects the very life and ministry that God entrusted to us.

We learnt how embracing our “holiness” is an essential pillar, not only for life, but for setting godly boundaries. You can read about that here

Today we’ll look at the second pillar – that of stewardship.

Definition of Biblical Stewardship?

Colossians 3 v 23 put’s it perfectly:

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters

Based on Colossians 3:23, biblical stewardship is the act of conducting your life and work as a direct service to God rather than for human approval.

It means recognising that every task you perform is sacred, and is to be done with excellence and integrity as an act of daily worship to the Lord.

Like I shared in Part One, my own thoughts around this verse have changed over time, so I choose to see it a little differently.

Instead of just working as if I’m working for the Lord, I remind myself that, if Jesus lives in me, which His word says He does, and I believe He does, then I should be working as though it’s Him working through me – which He is. It feels like it adds another layer of “seriousness” to the verse.

By reminding myself Whose I am, it becomes easier to remember Who I’m meant to be representing in every area of life, whether in my home, at a secular job, or in ministry. My aim should always be one excellence and integrity – working with my whole heart…

Of course this doesn’t happen overnight, it’s a process of consistently laying down the old me and picking up the new life I’ve inherited in Christ. God totally understands that.

We’ve had a lifetime of living in the old, sinful, selfish nature, so learning to lay that down for the holy nature that is ours in Christ, is a process.

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Examples of Biblical Stewardship:

In the home:

This would look like seeing your everyday, household tasks like washing dishes, parenting, or maintaining your yard, as a direct service to God rather than a chore that needs to be done.

Instead of viewing them as a burden, you perform them with excellence and integrity, treating your home as a sanctuary you’re managing for the Lord’s glory and the peace of your family.

In the Workplace:

Biblical stewardship shifts your focus away from working for a salary or a promotion to working for the Lord.

You do your job with honesty, meet deadlines, and treat colleagues with respect not just because it’s your job, but because you’re representing Christ to your employer and co-workers through your excellence and integrity.

In Ministry:

Here Biblical stewardship involves using your spiritual gifts and time without seeking the spotlight or for human applause.

Whether you’re leading a Bible study or cleaning the church floors, you do it wholeheartedly, knowing that your true reward comes from God, who entrusted you with that specific role to build up His people.

Five ways to practice godly stewardship when setting boundaries:

1. Steward Your Energy
   Before saying “yes” to a new commitment, assess your current commitments and energy levels.

   If adding a new task means you’ll be too exhausted to serve your family or do your job “heartily” as if for the Lord,(Col 3:23), the right choice is to decline. You’ll be saving your energy for what matters most.

2. Defining Your Primary Ministry
   In the Bible, stewards were often given specific portions of a vineyard to manage. Identifying your “primary ministry” is important. Is it your marriage, your children, or your specific job or ministry?

   When outside requests or pressures threaten to pull you away from these God-given priorities, use that boundary to stay focused on the specific ministry He assigned to you.

3. Protecting Your Rest
   God commanded rest because He knows we need it. Setting a hard boundary for a day of rest is an act of stewardship. You’re telling others (and yourself) that you trust God to run the world while you recharge the body and mind He entrusted to you.

   And of course the most important is to make quality time to sit at His feet so you can be filled to overflowing.

4. Say Yes to Integrity

   Your word must be reliable. If you say “yes” to a ministry or work task but do it poorly because you’re spread too thin, you have failed in stewardship.

   Setting a boundary is an act of integrity; it ensures that when you do say yes, you can deliver the excellence the Lord deserves.

5. Value Your Peace
   You are a steward of your “inner man.” If a toxic relationship or a constant stream of gossip is draining your peace and making you ineffective in your calling, setting an emotional boundary is necessary. You’re guarding the “temple” of the Holy Spirit, so you can remain fit for the Master’s use.

Remember, by choosing to say “No” to worldly behaviours and thought patterns, be it your own, or those of others who would seek to influence you, you’re building a godly boundary that will confirm who you are and protect the very life and ministry He has entrusted to you.

Conclusion:

So far we’ve looked at two of the three pillars for setting godly boundaries.

Pillar One: Holiness

Holiness is the “why” behind our boundaries. It establishes that we are set apart and sacred to God.

Our “holiness” gives us the confidence and authority to say “no” to anything that contradicts who God says we are.

Pillar Two: Stewardship

Stewardship is the “how” of our boundaries.

It recognizes that our time, energy and talents are His. We set boundaries not to be selfish, but to be responsible stewards (managers) of what God has entrusted to us.

Godly stewardship gives us the strategy to say no to “good” distractions so we can say “yes” to the most important God-given assignments.

If our holiness confirms our identity as God’s children, our godly stewardship helps us produce the most fruit in His kingdom.

Next week we’ll look at the final pillar – protection, and how that can help protect that which is most precious to us and God.

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I’d love for you to leave a comment and share with us an example of how you steward your life and ministry wisely, as if unto the Lord.

Also feel free to share this with a friend.

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Confession Time:

It’s occurred to me, as I’m sitting down to write this article, that in all my time as a leader in various ministries, I don’t believe it ever crossed my mind to consciously set boundaries.

To me, the whole idea of “setting boundaries” has always held a somewhat negative connotation. It somehow felt like people who set boundaries, were shutting someone or something out.

I’d never thought that I had in any way purposefully been setting boundaries, either in life or in ministry. But, as the Lord had reminded me in my previous article, I had in fact been setting boundaries without realising it. I just hadn’t given them a name – boundary!

I thought I was just making decisions to protect what was important to me, in that particular case my marriage. If you haven’t already, you can read about that here.

It was only when the Lord started showing me that the reason His daughters often feel like they are drowning under the weight of expectations, is because of a lack of godly boundaries, that the idea of setting boundaries started becoming a reality for me.

I know many of you reading this experience the same thing.

You’d rather work yourself to the bone, or take responsibility for something that was never yours to carry, rather than be seen as that person who says “no, enough is enough”!

I find it quite interesting that the Father has me, of all people, teaching His daughters about setting boundaries.

It seems He’s taking me up on my request to be taught along with you all. 😊

A Question We Need to Ask – and Answer

As I’ve been leaning into the idea of setting godly boundaries, I’ve realized we need to stop and ask a question that might feel counter-intuitive to everything we know and believe about the subject.

That question is:

What if the effectiveness of our ministry, indeed our very lives, depends on what we choose NOT to do?

In the desire to meet every need and answer every call, is it possible we’ve overlooked the very structures God designed to keep our work holy and on track?

God’s Design for Life and Boundaries:

As I read in the Word of the different instances where God and Jesus seem to set boundaries, it becomes obvious that boundary setting is about one of three things – holiness, stewardship, or protection. Sometimes it more than one.

I’m going to refer to them as the three pillars for godly boundaries.

We also need to consider: if these pillars are meant to define our calling as His daughters, and as leaders, what happens when those pillars are never actually established? When boundaries have never been set? Or, they may have been set, but with the wrong mindset.

This week, we’ll look at the first of those pillars – holiness.

God’s Design for Holiness:

Right in the very beginning, when God created man according to His image and likeness, we see Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden, experiencing a very close, intimate walk with the Father.

They were created (designed) to be just like Him, including being holy as He is holy.

So, because sin hadn’t yet entered the world, we can safely say that they too were without sin. That was always God’s original plan for mankind. That we would live in a state of His holiness, rather than from Satan’s sinfulness.

They loved Him, and each other, as He loved them. They experienced His joy, His peace, His patience, every single attribute of God formed part of who they were.

Wow, can you imagine what kind of marriage they must have had?

Then it all went pear-shaped

Just when they probably thought life couldn’t be better, along comes Satan with his sneaky plan to get revenge for being thrown out of Heaven.

Satan was once a high-ranking angelic being who became so full of pride, wanting to be equal with God, that he was cast out of heaven.

He was jealous of the bond between God and His children, and the dominion God had given them over all the earth. He wanted what they had. He also saw the devotion God’s children had for Him, and he, Satan, wanted that devotion.

And so, we see Satan convincing Adam and Eve, that God didn’t really want them to be just like Him. He didn’t want them becoming as knowledgeable as what He was, and therefore that’s the reason He forbade them from eating from the tree of knowledge of good and evil.

The moment Adam and Eve heard that, they suddenly wanted what God apparently didn’t want them to have – unlimited knowledge, and along with that, power.

When they rebelled against God and ate from the tree, Satan thought he’d achieved his goal. He’d tricked them into becoming prideful – wanting more knowledge and power – just as he had done.

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But Holiness and Evil Cannot Co-exist

We know that God is inherently Holy, meaning He is entirely pure and without sin. Even the atmosphere round Him is one of holiness.

So just like a room is no longer dark when you switch on the light, evil cannot be where holiness is.

That’s why Satan was cast from heaven, and mankind was cast out of the garden of Eden.

The moment they disobeyed God, Adam and Eve no longer had His holy nature, but had instead the fallen, evil nature of Satan. They could no longer be in God’s presence.

God Puts a Boundary in Place

That’s when we see God putting probably the most important boundary ever in place.

Genesis 3 v 24

After He drove the man out, he placed on the east side of the Garden of Eden cherubim and a flaming sword flashing back and forth to guard the way to the tree of life.

By putting this “boundary” in place, God was not only guarding the tree of life, but He was also protecting the future of His children.

By shutting down access to the tree of life, and preventing them from eating from it, and being stuck in that fallen state for all eternity, He was ensuring that they (we) would eventually be able to find our way back to Him, and He knew that that would only be able to happen through His Son Jesus Christ.

What does God’s Holiness have to do with us?

The answer: everything!

When we come to Christ, we are meant to exchange the old, fallen, evil nature and life of Satan for the new, holy nature and life of Christ.

2 Corinthians 5 v 17

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

Galatians 2 v 20

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.

If my old, sinful life has gone, and Jesus’s new, holy life has been returned to me, then I am called to be holy, just as He is holy.

I wonder why, as Christians, we feel so uncomfortable with the idea of referring to ourselves as holy beings when the Bible clearly says that is who we are.

1 Peter 1 v 15-1

But just as He who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.”

Embracing your holiness is an essential pillar, not only for life, but for setting godly boundaries.

Unfortunately, the modern-day church has taken largely to focusing on the fact that you can accept Jesus as your Saviour and be saved, therefore going to heaven when you die.

We’re told to read our Bible and pray, and get involved in a church ministry if we want to be seen as being really “holy”, but in very few churches over the years, have I heard, or been exposed to in-depth teachings on what our salvation means for us while we are still here on earth.

All those things we are told to do, can end up becoming “works” we do without them having any real impact on who we are meant to be becoming. The very image and reflection of God here on earth. And the reason for that is that we are doing all those works using a worldly compass, with a worldly mindset.

That’s why we often look at the state of the world in despair and wonder why, as Christians, we aren’t having a bigger impact.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve always been naïve enough to believe that as children of God, we have world-changing authority and power.

Why aren’t we seeing it to any significant extent?

Could it be because we don’t understand that once we’re returned to Christ, we literally have His nature, which is holy, returned to us? It’s not something we have to strive to achieve or become, it’s who we are!

So, if the life of Christ, which is now in me, is holy, why am I still doing life and trying to set boundaries according to how the world does?

It’s Time to Set up godly Boundaries That Reflect Who we Truly Are

Colossians 3 v 23

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters

For me this verse has taken on new meaning. Instead of just working as if I’m working for the Lord, I am reminding myself that, if Jesus lives in me, which His word says He does, then I should be working as though it’s Him working through me – which He is.

Would He be working through me using a “worldly compass”, or according to His holy nature?

If I have His life, I also have His holiness. Everything I do should be done with that in mind.

So, with the pillar of holiness in mind, how can what I choose NOT to do, influence the effectiveness of my ministry?

What a Pillar of Holiness Looks Like:

Quite simply it’s:

Choosing NOT to continue allowing the world to influence the way you live and serve.

We must start operating from our position and identity as representatives of Christ in everything we do, including setting boundaries.

We were created to reflect His image and likeness, including His holiness.

This does not mean we walk around with a “holier than thou” attitude.

It does mean that we become more conscious of whether our words and actions reflect, and glorify, the image of God.

We don’t go around “proclaiming” our holiness – we live from a position of holiness because that’s who we were destined to be before the foundation of the earth.

Ephesians 1 v 4

“Even as He chose us in him before the foundation of the earth, that we should be holy and blameless before him in love”.

When we start living and serving from and through His holiness, everything we do, including setting boundaries, will reflect His image. That alone, will make our life and ministry more credible and sustainable.

By choosing to say “No” to worldly behaviours and thought patterns, be it our own, or those of others who would seek to influence us, we’re building a godly boundary that will confirm who we are and protect the very life and ministry He has entrusted to us.

Conclusion:

As the Lord has been teaching me about setting boundaries, I find myself automatically starting to think differently about every aspect of my life, including my marriage, my children, and my ministry.

As I grow in my understanding of, and confidence in who I was created to be, my mind is being renewed, and I’m becoming less and less “intimidated” by what the world may think of me.

That doesn’t mean I look down on others, it means I can increasingly see things and people through God’s eyes. That creates a desire within me that all should come to know Him and experience the fullness of what He paid for on the cross. It wasn’t just a ticket to heaven.

Years ago, in our younger days, my husband and I were friends with a couple we’d met through a woman I used to work with.

As time went on, our husbands got into the habit of drinking together, so much so that for me it started to become a real problem in our marriage.

It felt like we couldn’t be in this couple’s company without the men becoming drunk. I must be honest, I always have, and still do have, zero tolerance for drunkenness.

At some stage I realised that to protect my marriage, we’d have to stop spending so much time with this couple. And so that’s what we did, we remained on friendly terms with them, we just didn’t socialise anymore.

To be totally honest, I don’t recall whether I had discussed this with my husband beforehand, or whether I’d just manipulated the situation so that it had the desired outcome.

I didn’t realise it at the time, but as I started working on this article, Father reminded me of that time in our lives, and that it was an example of setting a boundary to protect something the Lord had entrusted to me – my marriage.

It was hard giving up that friendship, and I remember feeling very guilty, but I knew that if I didn’t put that boundary in place, very likely I wouldn’t still be married to my husband 47 years later.

I believe this is an issue for many Christian women, especially those called to ministry.

We experience a profound sense of guilt when we even think about saying “no”, or putting boundaries in place, so let’s look at what the Bible has to say on this subject.

God sets boundaries to protect the things He loves

Not only did God set boundaries in place as He was creating the earth so that each thing would be in its place, but He also set one very specific boundary in place after sin entered the world.

He’d entrusted the garden, which represents the Kingdom of Heaven on earth, to mankind.

He tasked them with tending and caring for it. He also blessed them and said:

“Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it…” (Genesis 1 v 28)

He was giving them complete control over the earth, the special place He’d created for His children to live and thrive in.

But as we know, when Adam and Eve rebelled against Him, that didn’t and couldn’t happen anymore, so He removed them from the garden and created a boundary by placing the Cherubim and a flaming sword around the tree of life.

I’m sure to Adam and Eve that must have felt like God was writing them off, and the moment it happened they certainly felt the effects of no longer being in His presence.

Suddenly they were very much aware of their own shortcomings, and they knew without a doubt that access to the garden, and to the very presence of God, had not only been restricted, it was firmly closed shut!

Why did God do this?

The Bible tells us the exact reason:

Because Adam and Eve, who represented the whole of humanity, no longer had His nature in them but the fallen nature of the devil.

So to prevent them (and us) from being eternally stuck in this fallen state, He had to put a boundary in place.

Genesis 3 v 22

And the Lord God said: “The man has now become like one of Us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat and live forever.”

In other words, God was putting a boundary in place to protect something He cared very much for – mankind.

Because Man had eaten from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, they now were outside of His protection. They were subject to the dominion and authority of the devil, and God knew that if He didn’t remove them from the garden, and put that boundary in place, if they ate from the tree of life, they would be stuck under the domain of the enemy forever, with no way of getting back.

But by preventing access to the tree of life, God knew He was making a way for His children to find their way back home through His Son, Jesus Christ.

Aren’t you glad He did that? Think back to your life before you came to Christ, would you still want to be stuck there? I know for sure I wouldn’t!

Godly Boundaries are about holiness, stewardship and protection

The earth was always meant to be an extension of Heaven. It symbolized a place where there was no separation between God and man. It was a place where perfect love and peace reigned and where our spirits could be one with His.

From the beginning, this was always God’s plan for mankind, that we would reflect His image and likeness, and be one spirit with Him.

When the fall happened, that could no longer happen.

By putting that boundary in place, God was showing mankind that righteousness and evil cannot exist in the same place.

He was also showing us that disobedience has real consequences.

But it’s not all bad, because ultimately, God was also showing His incredible love and mercy for us.

By putting that boundary in place, He was protecting us from spending eternity in a fallen state and world forever.

This shows us that biblical boundaries aren’t about cruelty, they’re about holiness, stewardship, and God’s redemptive protection.”

What does that mean for us today?

As Christian women, one of our main concerns is that wanting to set boundaries, particularly with our families and in our ministries, can come across as selfish and ungodly. After all, aren’t we called to sacrificial love and service?

Let’s look at what the Word of God has to say on the matter, because if God himself set boundaries, surely, they can’t automatically be bad!

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What is a boundary really?

Simply put, boundaries are the limits you set in place to protect what God has entrusted to you.

This includes things like your time, your energy, your emotions, your calling and your relationships.

Boundaries are not meant to be walls to keep people out, but rather healthy guidelines that help you protect and steward your life and calling well.

A boundary can be a God-honouring limit that helps you get clear on your responsibility, protects your calling, and guards what is holy.

A boundary should never be used as punishment, to get revenge, or to control other people.

Remember that even when setting boundaries, you are meant to be reflecting the image and likeness of God.

Godly boundaries are Christlike.

We’ve already seen how God himself used boundaries to protect the things He loved, now let’s look at how Jesus himself used boundaries.

1. Jesus used boundaries to protect His time with the Father.

We read in Luke 5 v 15-16, that He often withdrew to pray, even when the crowds were still demanding more of His attention, He made sure to create time to be alone so that He could pray and be recharged.

You and I need to make it a priority to make time with the Father so that we can be fully prepared for the task He has given us.

2. Jesus didn’t give in to every demand.

In Mark 1 v 36-38 we see that even when everyone wanted Him to stay and do more, He sometimes chose to move on in obedience to His calling.

…”Let us go somewhere else – to the nearby villages – so I can preach there also. That is why I have come.”

Sometimes, we need to say “no” so that we too can focus on what matters most.

3. Jesus responded to manipulation with clarity.

Jesus was constantly being pressured to prove who he was, most notably when Satan or the Pharisees demanded a sign to “prove” His divinity. But He refused to play their game.

Unfortunately, we are also not immune to the manipulation of others. We need to be clear on who we are and what we are called to do. Only then will we be able to stand firm against manipulation.

If Jesus, who is perfect love, had limits and set boundaries, we don’t need to feel ashamed for having limits too.

Why boundaries are necessary for Christian women

The result of boundaryless living can result in burnout, resentfulness, and distraction.

It can also lead to you becoming a people-pleaser, cause you to neglect your family and health, and most importantly, it can result in your inability to hear from God clearly.

When we try to please everyone, or we want to be seen as someone who is indispensable, it will eventually cause us to feel like we are drowning under the weight of everyone else’s expectations and will rob us of the joy we once experienced.

Setting godly boundaries allows you to focus on what God has called you to do.

Why setting boundaries can be the most honest and loving thing you do:

Saying “NO” can be the most honest and loving thing you do because:

· It can keep you from making promises you cannot keep.

· It will help you serve with joy instead of resentment.

· It will stop you from neglecting the responsibilities God has already given you.

· And prevent you from enabling unhealthy patterns in yourself and others.

Jesus didn’t say “yes” to every good thing, instead He stayed faithful to His mission.

Sometimes our reluctance to set boundaries, isn’t so much about humility, but about confusion regarding our calling.

We want to say yes to every seemingly good opportunity that comes our way, instead of focusing on what God has asked us to do.

It’s important to spend time with the Father and get clarity on what exactly it is He wants you to do.

In Mark 6 v 31 Jesus says something many of us need to hear:

“Come with Me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”

When we allow ourselves to become overwhelmed by what we think are our responsibilities, it becomes increasingly hard to make time to rest, not only at the feet of Jesus, but rest in general.

If you don’t start setting godly boundaries and making time for rest, your body and life will eventually enforce it on you through burnout, anxiety, illness, emotional outbursts, or spiritual dryness.

Setting boundaries is how you protect your capacity to love, live, and serve well for the long haul.

Obedience to God will always bear better fruit than seeking the approval of people.

Don’t be found guilty of neglecting the calling God has given you by committing to responsibilities that are not meant to be yours to carry.

Wanting to set godly boundaries isn’t a sign you’re failing, but it may very well be a sign that God is teaching you how to live, love, and serve in abundance instead of on empty.

Back then, I realised that to protect my marriage, I would have to create a boundary.

What boundary is God asking you to put in place to protect something or someone you love? Perhaps it’s not someone else – it could be you who needs some protection.

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Feel free to like and leave a comment. Do you find it hard setting boundaries?

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I remember sitting on my bed that morning, sharing my heart and my fears with the Father. The children’s ministry organization that I’d been volunteering with for the last five years, had asked me to step into full-time ministry.

To most, this probably sounds like a promotion; but to me, a typical introvert, it felt like an invitation to confront my greatest fears. Public speaking, fundraising, and a leadership role I felt entirely unqualified for. Although, to be honest, I was flattered that they saw potential in me.

In my prayer that morning, I was speaking to the Lord in Afrikaans, our home language, I said: “Here, ek voel so benoud oor hierdie besluit.” (Lord, I feel so anxious/distressed about this discission.)

As I was speaking, I felt lead to open my Bible to Psalm 50, and it was verse 15 that jumped out at me. In the English translation, it says, “Call on me in the day of trouble...”

I was reading it in the Afrikaans translation, and when I got to verse 15 it was like - Wow! I read: “Roep my aan in die dag van benoudheid...”

Father had lead me to a verse that used the exact word I’d spoken to Him. In that one word, Benoudheid, He was acknowledging my distress and answering it with a promise: “Ek sal jou uithelp, en jy sal My eer.” (I will deliver you, and you shall honour Me”.

I understand that in the context of Psalm 50, God was speaking to His covenant people, Israel, but in that moment, He was speaking directly to me, His covenant daughter. And I knew right then what my answer would be, for if God was on my side, who could possibly be against me?

The Covenant of Sacrifice

In Psalm 50 we read about God shining forth in perfect beauty out of Zion.

Historically, Zion referred to the City of David, or the hill in Jerusalem where the Temple was built. It was the dwelling place of God in Old Covenant times.

Today, in New Covenant times, as daughters of Zion ( a term primarily used as a personification of the people of Jerusalem and the kingdom of Judah, and now includes those of us who are in Christ) His beauty is meant to shine through us into whatever calling He has placed on our lives. We are now His dwelling place.

But this beauty requires a “covenant of sacrifice” - a sacrificing of our old life, our comfort zones, our fears, and our endless list of excuses as to why we’re “unqualified” - for the new life in Christ.

Our sacrifice is no longer one of offering sacrificial animals to God, but rather to offer thanksgiving by fulfilling our vows and keeping our commitments to Him when we trust Him with all our hearts.

"God does not begin by examining our abilities to see if they are worthy of his help. He will help us if we are completely empty and wholly give ourselves to him." Charles Spurgeon

When we dare to say “Yes” to the calling, the “equipping” begins.

I saw this play out in ways I never expected:

• He provided and sustained me: Moving from volunteer to full-time required resources and training I didn’t have, yet He provided above and beyond what I could have wished for.

• His favour was upon me: He opened doors with people I was once afraid to approach. At that stage I would rather have died than have to meet with Pastors and other male leaders.

• He protected me: In our context in South Africa, I spent years traveling alone into informal settlements to promote the ministry, train teachers and spread the Gospel. Many called it irresponsible or dangerous, yet I never once encountered danger or even felt the least bit afraid. His protection was my constant companion.

The "But Lord..." List of Common Excuses

As I waited for that phone call, my mind was a whirlwind of reasons why I should say no. I suspect many of you are experiencing that same whirlwind today.

When God asks us to step out, our first instinct is often to hand Him a resume of our inadequacies. We hide behind excuses that feel like "humility" but are actually just "fear":

Even with a word from God, we’re sometimes tempted to look behind and step back into our old life. This happens when we start to come up with excuses like:

• The “Moses” Excuse: “I’m not a public speaker; I don’t have the charisma or the right words.”

• The “Resource” Excuse: “I hate the idea of asking for money, it makes me feel like a beggar.” This was a big one for me!

• The “Personality” Excuse: “I’m an introvert; surely God needs someone who’s more dynamic, who will listen to me?”

The truth is: God doesn’t “need” you to fulfil a calling, He wants you to fulfil it. He isn’t looking for your ability, but your availability.

As the saying goes, “God doesn’t call the qualified; He qualifies the called.”

Steps for moving beyond your own “Trouble” (benoudheid)

1. Name your “Trouble” (Your Benoudheid): Spend time with the Father being brutally honest. What exactly is it that you fear? Name it, so you can hear Him answer it.

2. Identify Your Hesitation: Is your “no” based on a lack of faith in His ability, or a lack of confidence in your own?

3. Find Your Anchor Verse: Stay in the Word until a specific passage or promise settles in your heart. The Father will always confirm His intentions through His word.

4. Step out in faith: Don’t wait for the fear to vanish before you say yes. The peace, and the boldness you need often arrives after you’ve stepped through the door.

Reflection Questions

• What “old life” comfort are you being asked to sacrifice to step into a new calling?

• Is there a specific word of “trouble” you need to bring to Him today?

• Where have you seen His protection or favour in the past that can give you courage for the future?

If you’re waiting to feel “qualified” before you say yes, you’ll be waiting forever. Step out in your weakness and watch how God provides the strength!

Conclusion:

As I wrestled with my own limitations, the Lord met me in the pages of Psalm 50:15: “Call on me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me.”

In that moment, I realized that my "trouble" - my nerves, my hesitation, and my lack of a "bold" personality - wasn't a barrier to His plan. It was the very space He intended to fill.

If you’re standing at the edge of a "yes" today, feeling like you lack the personality or the tools to move forward, remember this: God doesn’t need your ability; He only asks for your availability.

When He calls you, He isn't just sending you out on your own, He’s going with you, and He is the one who will do the “qualifying”.

What’s one small "yes" you can give Him today?

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Feel free to share your “trouble” with us in the comments.

Thank you for reading this post. If you have been encouraged by it, please pay it forward by sharing it with someone who may be facing their own struggle.

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I have something I fondly refer to as l my OMDD - my “Old Man Detection Device.”

If you’re wondering what on earth that is, it’s simply the internal alarm that goes off when I realize I’ve slipped back into my “Old Man” status - that old, fallen nature we are called to leave behind. (2Cor 5 v 17)

It’s the “beep” in my spirit, activated by the Holy Spirit, that alerts me when I’m acting out of self-pity, cynicism, or independence instead of in the New Life I have in Christ.

Most days, I like to think I’m walking in the New. But recently, during my quiet time, my OMDD went off so loudly I couldn’t ignore it.

It turned out that a seemingly “harmless” comment I’d made was actually a sign of something much deeper: a heart that was starting to harden.

A Shocking Answer to a Bold Request

I sat down with a specific desire that morning: I wanted to hear the Father’s voice, so I asked Him:

“Lord, speak to me this morning in a way that leaves no room for doubt. I need to know it’s You.”

You know how we sometimes wonder if it’s our own thoughts running through our minds.

Almost immediately, I felt led to read Hebrews 3. I started reading about Moses’ faithfulness and about how Jesus is worthy of even greater glory than Moses because He is the builder of the house.

But when I hit verse 7, it felt like the words leapt right off the page:

“Therefore, as the Holy Spirit says: ‘Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts...’”

Wow! That shook me. I’d just asked to hear His voice, and His first words to me were a gentle but firm warning: When I speak, don’t harden your heart.

How an innocent remark turned into a much needed lesson

The thought that I’d hardened my heart towards God made me feel extremely sad. I love the Lord and to think I’d possibly caused Him pain with my careless words was almost too much to bear.

Through my tears I asked the Holy Spirit to show me where I’d been hardening my heart, and almost immediately He reminded me of a conversation I’d had with my husband just the day before.

For a few years now, I’ve been having an issue with my left leg. It’s nothing serious, but it sometimes feels like a constant, nagging discomfort.

Now I believe in walking in divine health and healing according to what the Lord promises us in His word, and I’ve been standing on these promises regarding the issue with my leg for a while now.

But that afternoon, I experienced a “moment of weakness”. I looked at my husband and said, “Perhaps the Lord just doesn’t want to heal my leg!”

The second those words left my lips, I knew I was being unfair.

But it wasn’t until my quiet time the next morning that I learnt it was more than just a “moment of weakness”, it was in fact a hardening of my heart.

By entertaining that thought, and speaking those words, without even realising it, I was unconsciously building a wall to protect myself from disappointment, effectively lowering my expectations of God’s goodness and faithfulness.

And not only that, in doing so, I was diminishing Christ’s glory as the builder of this body of mine, which is His house!

The Garden Connection

It shouldn’t really surprise us that we sometimes fall prey to things like this.

When we entertain those “perhaps God doesn’t really want to heal me” thoughts, we’re walking a path as old as time.

In the Garden, Adam and Eve didn’t just eat a piece of fruit; they hardened their hearts toward God by choosing disobedience and following the enemy.

Satan had convinced them that God was holding out on them - that He just didn’t want them to be like Him.

The moment we doubt His motives toward us, we are aligning ourselves with the enemy’s narrative. We are hardening our hearts towards God.

We retreat into our old, fallen nature. The part of us that finds a strange, protective comfort in self-pity. That is the “Old Man” trying to take the lead again.

When we are born-again we become new creations, and we have no business dwelling in our old, fallen nature, which includes feeling sorry for ourselves and giving in to feelings of despair. (2Corinthians 5:17)

Is Your OMDD Alerting You?

As women called to lead and serve, we become masters of “getting it done.”

But that strength can sometimes become a shield behind which our hearts can start to harden.

Let’s take a look at a few other ways our OMDD’s might be trying to alert us:

• Self-Reliance:

  When we think we can just get on with it without first consulting the Builder, we are wasting our time and heading for failure and disappointment, which can lead to a hardening of the heart. (Psalm 127:1)

• Spiritual Cynicism:

  Lowering our expectations of God to avoid being disappointed again. When we “give up hope” of getting the outcome we desire from God, ( perhaps God just doesn’t want to heal my leg!) to the point where we think we know what He must be thinking, can makes us sick and leads to a hardening of the heart. (Proverbs 13:12)

• Comparison:

  Feeling envious when others are blessed and we’re still waiting for God to move on our behalf, doubting His timing in our lives, we are hardening our hearts. (Proverbs 14:30)

• Choosing “doing” over “being”:

  Becoming so busy with “the Lord’s work” that we have no time to just sit and listen to the Lord as His daughters. Our hearts become hardened. (Luke 10 v 42)

Conclusion:

I’m so grateful for a Father who loves me enough to correct me.

He disciplines those He loves, not to shame us, but to bring us back into the fullness of who He created us to be - His children, created in His image, according to His likeness.

Contrary to what the enemy had Adam and Eve believing, God does want us to be like Him. Not that we can be God, but that we are to be like Him by nature.

When we are born again, we become a new creation. We have no business dwelling in our old, fallen nature or giving in to feelings of despair. They belong in the past.

We are the dwelling place of Jesus Christ, and He deserves greater glory!

My Challenge For You:

This week, I challenge you to listen for the “beep” of your own Old Man Detection Device.

If you find yourself sinking into despair or trying to take the reins back from God, stop and ask Him:

“Lord, where am I hardening my heart?”

He is so faithful to answer, to heal, and to keep your heart soft, ready, and able to hear His voice.

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Let’s Chat in the Comments:

1. Where has your OMDD “ been beeping” lately? Is there a specific area where you’ve noticed a thought entering your mind that might actually be pointing towards a hardened heart?

2. What are some other ways in which we may be hardening our hearts that come to mind? Share with us.

3. Which scripture helps you pivot back to your “New Life” status? I’ll be jumping into the comments to chat with you!

Share The Unveiled Leader

The 30 Day Test

They say hindsight is twenty-twenty, but sometimes “foresight” is just as clear when you’ve become used to seeing God move.

Decades ago, in the early 2000’s, I stood at a crossroads. I’d just decided that what I most wanted to do with my life, was to “work for God” fulltime, whatever that even meant!

Up until then I had been involved in various church ministries like Sunday School and the prayer and outreach ministries, but I had this deep sense that I was meant to do more.

No sooner had I come to this decision, or that resolve was tested.

Within the space of 30 days, I received no less than 5 separate offers of employment. And you want to know the strange part?

I had not applied for any of them!

I remember thinking at the time - “this just doesn’t happen”! Especially considering that, at that stage, I’d been a SAHM for at least the past 15 years.

Now to be honest, at the time, just for a split second, it was tempting.

We were going through a tough time financially and it would have been so easy to accept any one of those offers. But as I sat thinking about it, I realized I had a choice to make.

I could choose the security of a guaranteed pay check, or the uncertainty of what I believed to be a Divine calling.

I chose the latter, even though at that stage I had no idea what this “Divine calling” would look like. Fortunately, or perhaps purposefully, God has blessed me with a husband who has always understood and supported my need to serve the Lord.

Fast Forward to Today:

My hair is a bit greyer, and my husband and I are now retired on a farm in South Africa, and once again our resolve is being tested.

This time in the form of a National State of Emergency that has recently been declared because of an outbreak of Foot-And-Mouth Disease which has effectively evaporated our primary source of income because we aren't allowed to move or sell any cattle for what could potentially last for up to a year.

To many this may sound like a catastrophe. But in the midst of it all, I find myself surprisingly at peace. Why? Because I realize I’ve been here before. I know the One who provided when I said “no” to those five job opportunities, is the same One who stands with us now.

Why Am I Telling You This?

Because in Matthew 6 Jesus gives us a blueprint on how to handle situations like this. And also, as I sat down to write this article, the Lord reminded me of that specific time when I had a choice to make. So I believe He wanted me to share it with you.

Matthew 6 v 19

“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal…”

Jesus uses these three metaphors to show us that earthly wealth can be temporary and vulnerable.

There’s no guarantee that if I’d accepted any one of those job offers, that that security couldn’t have been taken away just as quickly as it came.

“Do not lay up for yourselves …” implies a deliberate, self-centred stockpiling or hoarding of resources. Pretty much like what we saw during the covid lockdown when people were buying up all the toilet paper they could, with no regard for others who might also need some. (Funny how this image came up as an example😊)

Now while the Bible isn’t against saving or providing wisely for your family, it does warn about placing your ultimate security and identity on material possessions.

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So what does Jesus suggest we do?

The exact opposite!

Matthew 6 v 20

“… but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, with neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal …”

What Are Heavenly Treasures?

Where Jesus describes earthly treasures as something that can be destroyed or stolen, He describes heavenly treasures as being something that cannot be stolen or destroyed. Things like:

• Acts of generosity: Using your earthly resources to help others without expecting anything in return. When we are in Christ, we are meant to think differently about how we handle and use our resources, including our money.

  It goes from being mine to keep, to becoming ours to share.

• Godly character: When you allow God to transform you, helping you develop virtues like holiness, faith, hope and love. These are qualities that will endure even after you’re gone as people remember you being a person of godly character. Without even realising it, you may be influencing someone else to become more like Christ as they begin to see His characteristics in you.

• Working as if for Christ and not for man: Doing righteous acts for God and not for the approval and applause of man. We may think we can fool others by acting all righteous, but they will see right through us when our heart is not in whatever it is we’re doing.

• Kingdom work: This can include any activity that has eternal consequences, such as winning souls for Christ, or nurturing the faith of others.

Why is this important?

Matthew 6 v 21:

“For where your treasure is, there will be your heart also.”

Our affections, our thoughts, our loyalties, our actions, naturally gravitate toward the place where we have invested most of our time, money and energy.

What we prioritize reveals what is most important to us. What we truly worship.

If you find your heart becoming too attached to the world and earthly treasures, as sometimes happens, Jesus’s advice to you would probably be to redirect your resources.

By intentionally refocusing your attention on Christ and investing in heavenly things, your heart and desires will eventually follow and come into alignment with God’s kingdom.

Choosing The Right Master

Another lesson in Matthew 6 is that we cannot serve two masters. We cannot serve both God (heavenly treasures) and mammon (earthly treasure).

I have learnt that when we choose to serve the right Master, no matter what comes across our way, our peace doesn’t have to go with it.

This time round the “thief” came in the form of a virus. But little did I know all those years ago when I had that choice to make, that that decision would almost become like a blueprint for my life. Choosing to trust in, to follow, and to serve the One who has already overcome the thief.

I’m still relying on God to come through, just as He did all those years ago when those five job offers were on the table, but experience has taught me that when I make Him, and gathering heavenly treasures my priority, He always blesses us above and beyond what we could ever imagine. No virus is going to change that record.

I don’t want to suggest that this is easy, far from it, but I am secure in the knowledge that God is a faithful, true to His word God, who is not only with us in the midst of this latest storm, but He will surely sustain us also.

As Matthew 6 v 33 says:

“Seek first the kingdom of God (heavenly treasures) and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”

Choose Indestructible Treasures

As I look out over the fields and see the cattle, I know that even in this storm we have been blessed beyond measure. Where other farmers have had to watch their cattle suffer unimaginable pain, and some have had to shoot their cows to put them out of their misery, our cattle have barely been affected. Some of them lost a bit of weight, and only one has really been affected to the extent that she can’t walk or eat because of the sores in her mouth and on her feet. But for the most part they are walking and eating as usual.

So now we are trusting that the government is going to decide that we don’t have to slaughter all the cattle, even when they have recovered, which is currently the law.

But no matter what lies ahead, on this farm we are standing on solid ground!

To anyone else facing their own “State of Emergency” I want to say: “Don’t let the rust and the thieves of this world steal your focus. Seek first the kingdom of God!

Yesterday, as I was praying and thinking about what to share this week, the story of the little piglet came to mind. I believe Father wants me to share a post I’d written back in October 2024 about His love. I hope it blesses you.

Sometimes God’s love looks like a little pig!

Let me explain:

This particular morning, during my quiet time, I’d been asking the Lord to help me experience His love to such an extent that it literally filled me up and overflowed to everyone around me.

The next moment I sensed His Spirit telling me to get up and go stand at the window.

At first I thought it a bit strange and wondered if it was just my own thoughts telling me to do that, something I do less and less as I realise that God often speaks to me that way.

Anyway, I went and stood at the window and looked outside but couldn’t really see anything in particular I though God might want to show me, so I started thanking Him for the green pastures (we live on a farm). Everything looked so fresh and alive because of the rains we’d had during the night, and the dogs we have as pets were running around outside with boundless joy.

As I was about to turn away from the window and return to my seat, out of the corner of my eye, I caught site of the little piglet.

Now about the piglet.

He’d been gifted to my husband the previous day, but during the evening he escaped and was nowhere to be found. We searched and searched without success.

My heart was greatly troubled at the thought of this poor little piglet being lost and wondering around all by himself all night. Who knew what might happen to him what with foxes and other creatures roaming around.

Needless to say, I said a good many prayers for his safe return during a somewhat restless night.

When we got up the next morning, he was still nowhere to be seen. So it was with a heavy heart that we started the day.

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And then my quiet time!

Wow! God literally had me leaking tears when I realized that He’d just shown me how much He loves me, and that He delights in giving me the desires of my heart.

My heart was full to overflowing, and bursting with joy and love for a heavenly Father who used a lost little piglet to show me how much He loves me.

He knew my hearts desire for little piggy to be found, and took great pleasure in answering my prayer.

Lessons Learnt:

I feel like Father taught me a couple of lessons through this episode.

• Love is knowing someone so well, that you know the desires of their hearts - it’s about building relationships, in this case my relationship with the Father. Obviously He knows us way better than we even know ourselves, but I believe He also rejoices when we desire to know Him and the desires of His heart too.

• The more I grow in my knowledge and experience of Him, the more I love Him, experience His love, and can learn to love like Him. And the same goes for you.

  The truth is, we cannot truly love ourselves or others until we understand the depth of His love, and that when we are in Christ, we have the ability to love as He loves.

• Love is doing everything you can to help make someone’s dreams come true. God knows my dreams and desires (yours too), and He is still to this day doing everything He can to help make them come true. He’s the One who places those dreams and desires in our hearts, and He delights in making them come true.

He is the one causing us to want to and to experience His love like never before, and as we grow in our love for Him, the desires of His heart are being met too, for us to become just like His dear Son, Jesus.

The Father loves to show us His love in unexpected ways. And sometimes His love looks like a pig!

I’d Love To Hear Your Story

I’d love to hear some of the unique ways Father has shown His love to you. Please feel free to share in the comments below.

Blessings from an overflowing heart,

Jane

You know the feeling - You’ve been asked to lead the weekly prayer meeting, become the Next Director of the Sunday School, or perhaps facilitate the women’s Bible Study.

At first you’re all excited, honoured that the church leadership, and especially God, have entrusted you with this ministry. You can’t wait to attend that first meeting and do everything you can to make sure you’re well prepared.

But then you walk into that first meeting, or perhaps it’s the 100th meeting, look around at everyone sitting there, all of a sudden you start questioning yourself - Am I really the person to lead this ministry?

You know you’ve been given the mandate, but you still, sometimes even after years, find yourself questioning whether you’re the right person for the job.

Why is that?

Because, on the inside, you’re still waiting for someone to give you “permission” to lead.

When this happens, it usually means one thing – You’ve allowed the debris of other people’s expectations and opinions to distract you from the only One whose opinion counts.

Speaking from experience:

I learned this early on, back in the 90’s, when I was first elected leader of the Sunday School at church.

My responsibilities included holding weekly training sessions for the teachers where we would discuss and prepare the next Sunday’s lesson together.

During our very first meeting, one of the teachers called out in what, at the time, sounded to me like a very loud voice, “Jane, if you want to teach children, you’ll have to learn to speak louder!”

Now, I’m a naturally soft-spoken person, and even though I’m a very competent, trained Instructor of Teachers, and had been teaching Sunday School for some years at that stage, that one comment almost stopped me in my tracks.

I allowed it to bug me so much that I started questioning whether I was really the right person for the role. Was I dynamic or loud enough to lead this ministry?

The truth is, I let a single person’s opinion cause me to believe that perhaps I wasn’t “loud” enough to be a good leader.

After I stopped feeling sorry for myself, I turned to the One Person whose opinion counts more than any other – my Heavenly Father.

I’ll never forget His words to me:

“Take no notice of what she said, go and be the person I created you to be. I created you with that soft voice and gentle, calm spirit. Go and be that person.”

Wow, He’d just given me permission to be me.

From that day on, I understood that my calling and my ability to fulfil it, had nothing to do with the “loudness” of my voice, but everything to do with the authority I have in Christ.

In fact, over the years, as I’d been training teachers and missionaries at different Training Institutes and churches, I had many students come to me and thank me for my calm and gentle way of teaching.

What someone else saw as a “weakness” to be fixed, God used to confirm my authority.

The truth is, many women in ministry are leading from a place of perpetual striving, constantly trying to measure up to other people’s expectations of them, or what they think God expects of them.

We allow ourselves to start believing that if only we’re dynamic enough, organized enough, educated enough, or the big one, wait for it, holy enough, we’ll finally earn our seat at the table.

But Kingdom leadership doesn’t work that way.

In the Kingdom, your authority isn’t something to be earned; it’s something you are given.

We see this in Matthew 28 v 18,19

“All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go, and make disciples…”

As Jesus was about to return to His Father’s side, He was handing His earthly ministry over to the disciples. But that’s not all he was handing them,

When He said: “Therefore, go …” , He was really saying “Because I have all authority, you have all authority.”

He was giving them all the authority, power and ability they would ever need to carry out their mission. It wasn’t something they had to earn by working harder or being better. They received it because of who they were - His disciples.

I’m not the only one!

God showed me recently that many of His daughters, especially those who are leaders of a ministry, are drowning in a sea of debris, because they’re allowing the opinions and expectations of others to distract them from the only One whose opinion counts.

What does that even mean?

It means we work so hard to prove our worthiness, that we’ve taken our eyes off Him and allowed the expectations and opinions of others to determine our worth and efficacy in the Kingdom.

Does this sound familiar? Have you felt like you’re drowning lately?

What does this ‘debris’ look like in our daily lives?

Imposter syndrome that makes you feel like a fraud when you start comparing yourself to others.

Exhaustion caused by trying to juggle a dozen different roles and keeping everyone happy.

Spiritual doubt that asks, ‘Am I holy enough or worthy enough to lead?’

A poverty mindset that traps you in survival mode of “never enough” instead of leading with the authority and confidence that is yours in Christ

Isolation and fatigue that happens when try so hard that you to forget you aren’t in this alone.”

These are just a few examples of what that debris can look like, you may be able to add a few more to the list.

If any of this feel’s familiar to you, you know exactly what I mean by debris.

It’s that mental and spiritual noise inside your head that makes you wonder if you’ve earned your seat at the table.

But here’s the truth we must keep coming back to:

To lead with authority and confidence, we must stop seeking permission from others to lead and fix our focus on the only One whose opinion counts!

A Daughter, not an Employee

We often treat our ministry like a job we’re lucky to have, but God didn’t create you because He had a “leadership vacancy” to fill. He created you first and foremost because He wanted a daughter. He wants a relationship with you.

His love for you isn’t tied to your performance. He loves you because of who you are – His beloved Daughter, created in His image. To be just like Him.

He’d love you even if you never took a single step towards fulfilling your calling.

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Stop leading with an orphan mentality

There’s a massive difference between being an orphan and being a daughter .

An orphan leads from a place of survival. One where you always feel you must work harder to prove your worth, or to prove that you deserve a seat at the table.

But a daughter leads from a place of confidence and security in her identity as daughter of God, and the authority that goes with it.

When we learn to fix our eyes on Christ, He reminds us that our authority isn’t based on how loud our voices are, or how “qualified” we feel for the task. It’s something we are given freely when we are His disciples.

Just like Jesus handed His authority over to the disciples, He hands it over to you too. He’s already equipped you with all the authority, ability and confidence you need to fulfil your unique calling.

Think about it this way: The daughter of a King doesn’t have to shout to be heard. She carries a quiet confidence and authority because of whose name she bears.

Her authority isn’t about being the loudest person in the room, but rather it’s found in the quiet confidence that comes from knowing who’s name she bear..

In Christ - you bear the name of Jesus Christ!

How do we clear the debris?

So, how do we go about clearing the debris so we can lead with authority and confidence?

1. Stop trying to do it all by yourself. The heaviest debris we carry is the lie that it all depends on us. Take an honest look at where you’re striving and remind yourself: I’m not alone in this – He’s the one who’ll establish the work in me.

2. Silence the “Not Enough” Narrative. Like that teacher who told me I need to learn to speak louder, there’ll always be someone who has an opinion on how you should lead. But A daughter knows her Father’s voice, it should be the only one that defines her.

3. Understand your rightful position. Have faith, and stand strong, keeping your eyes fixed on the One who has all authority in heaven and on earth. The One who says to you: “Because I have authority, you have authority, therefore go…”

You were never meant to carry the weight of the Kingdom on your shoulders.

So as you step into your next assignment, do it with the confidence of a daughter who knows she is loved without any strings attached.

You aren’t fighting for a seat at the table; you already have one.

Conclusion:

Next time you walk into that Prayer Meeting, Bible Study, or whatever ministry you are called to lead, take a moment to remember Whose daughter you are and ask yourself: “What would a daughter of The King do right now?” Then step out with the confidence and authority that is yours in Christ!

“Good luck trying to raise disciples, when you don’t understand how to be one”!

I read this quote a few years ago, and to be honest, as someone who was actively involved in Child Evangelism at the time, it shook me.

It forced me to stop and evaluate my own life. For years, in fact even until quite recently, my idea of a “disciple” was someone who went out and shared the Gospel with others. Someone who felt they had a special calling to go and spread the gospel.

But as I’ve grown in my knowledge and understanding of the Word, and learnt to dig deeper into the Word and the history of the early church, I’ve realized it is so much more than a job description. It’s an identity.

So What is a Disciple?

In Biblical times, being chosen as the disciple of a Rabbi was a massive honour. You were selected because the Rabbi saw potential in you.

The goal of a disciple wasn’t just to learn everything the Rabbi taught; it was to become exactly like the him.

They were trained to mirror their Rabbi’s every move. They taught what he taught, in the way he taught it. Some would even go as far as to dress like he dressed and eat what he ate.

Rabbi’s often had more than one disciple, and it was the custom of that time that when the Rabbi died, one of his disciples would take over from him. So everyone wanted to be a disciple.

That’s also why, in Mark 9 v 33-34, we find Jesus’s disciples arguing about who is the greatest among them. They were all hoping to be taking over from Jesus, their Rabbi.

So in our context, being a disciple means our singular focus should be on becoming a mirror image of our Rabbi, Jesus.

Who is called to be a Disciple?

When Jesus called His first disciples, they were specially chosen. They were people in whom He saw potential, no matter their background.

They soon understood that when they became His disciples, it meant leaving everything connected to their old way of living behind. They had to leave their businesses, their families, everything and everyone to follow Him.

They no longer identified themselves as “Fishermen” or “Tax Collectors”, they now had a new identity - that of “Disciple”.

Today, when we accept Jesus as our Savior, we aren’t just signing up for a ticket to heaven, we’re choosing to follow Him. We become His disciples.

This doesn’t mean we all move to the desert or abandon our families and homes, but it does mean leaving our old way of living behind.

Romans 12 v 1

Therefore I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God - this is your true and proper worship

This verse speaks of a daily laying aside of our own desires to follow Him, putting all our resources at His disposal to use as He wishes.

In Genesis 1:26, we see that we were originally created in His image and likeness. In other words, to be exactly like Him.

Of course that didn’t happen with Adam and Eve, because they made the decision to follow Satan instead of being obedient to God. But God never stopped loving them, or us. He already had a plan in place to redeem us through His Son, Jesus Christ.

Jesus not only redeemed us, He took back what the enemy had stolen from us - our identity and authority in Christ.

The decision to follow Jesus and become His disciple, is part of the process of returning us to God’s original plan for us. This is what He was talking about in:

Jeremiah 29 v 11

“For I know the plans I have for you”, declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future”.

The more we begin to understand the fulness of what Jesus did for us on the cross, that it wasn’t just about getting a ticket to heaven, the more our desire should be to say:

“I want my life to look more like Him and less like the world.”

What Does It Look Like to be a Disciple Today?

Now that we know what it means to become a disciple, let’s take a look at what a disciple is called to do.

If we go back to Genesis 1:28, we see that after God created man in His image and likeness, He blessed them and told them to go and be fruitful and multiply, to fill the earth and to subdue it. In other words, they were to take dominion over the earth. He was giving them authority to rule over the earth.

And He wasn't just talking about populating the world with bodies. He was saying:

"Go and make more people who are just like Me."

Jesus reminds us of this in Matthew 28 v 18-20 where He tells His disciples to go into all the world and make disciples of all nations.

Notice also that He starts by saying, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.”

Because we are in Christ, and are His disciples, we operate under that same authority. We can once again walk in the dominion or authority we were given at creation. Authority that the enemy had stolen from us.

Being a disciple today is not a calling for a “select few” or just the people behind a pulpit, it’s for:

• Fathers trying to be the spiritual heads of their families.

• Parents trying to raise children in the faith.

• Pastors leading their congregations.

• Missionaries reaching the lost.

• Leaders heading up ministries.

• Writers reaching the masses through their words

Do I Look Like a Disciple?

This is the hard question we have to ask ourselves before we can point a finger at anyone else.

Does my life mirror the life of Christ?

Am I a student of His character, or am I just along for the ride?

We cannot lead people to a place we’re not prepared to go to ourselves. If we aren’t actively being transformed into His image, we will only ever produce “converts” to a system, rather than make disciples of a Person.

Romans 12 v 2

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…

Are You Trying to Raise Disciples?

Each role you fulfil on this earth, at its heart, is an opportunity for disciple-making. But your ability to lead others will always hit a glass ceiling if you aren’t growing and transforming yourself.

We’re all called to “go,” but we go, not as representatives of ourselves, but of Jesus Christ.

We’ve been given the authority to go because we’ve submitted to the One who holds all authority.

Food for thought:

Before you try to change the world, or even just your household, ask yourself:

Who’s image am I reflecting today?

I encourage you to like and comment on this post, and feel free to share with those who might benefit.

First, let me ask you a question: Have you ever wondered what the very first consequence of sin was? I’m not talking about Adam and Eve getting themselves and consequently the rest of us evicted from the Garden.

It was shame.

The moment God asked Adam what he’d done, he didn’t repent, no, he immediately pointed his finger at his wife and said, “This woman You gave me...” Seemingly without giving it a second thought, he threw her under the bus to distance himself from his own sense of shame and failure.

Why? Because the moment he disobeyed, he felt the crushing weight of guilt and shame. So, he blamed his wife, the very woman he’d loved with the love of God just moments prior.

A Morning I’ll Never Forget:

This hit home for me back in 1989, only two weeks after I’d surrendered my life to the Lord.

At that time, I was a stay-at-home mom with four young children. I had just finished screaming at my husband as he left for work. As the door slammed, the guilt and shame hit hard.

I don’t even remember what we fought about, but I do remember standing in the silence with my heart pounding and tears streaming down my face, wondering: “Am I really God’s child if I still behave like this?”

I felt like a total fraud. I was failing as a wife, failing as a mother to my children, and I felt utterly unworthy of being called a child of God!

Later that morning, still weeping while vacuuming the carpets, I instinctively reached out and grabbed a random scripture card from the mantelpiece. It was a desperate, blind reach for some kind of lifeline.

The next moment I was stunned by what I read:

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine.” — Isaiah 43:1

Wow! I had literally just been wondering if I was truly His, and He answered.

It was the first time I felt I “heard” Him speaking directly to me. It was as if He reached down into my mess, bypassed all the guilt and the shame, and said, “You are still Mine.”

In that moment, I didn’t feel condemned. I felt seen and loved. In fact, I don’t ever recall feeling more loved than in that moment!

That day didn’t end my struggles, but it did change my walk. I stopped hiding behind a veil, and started healing. I learned that grace doesn’t just cover us; it carries us.

A New Realisation:

The day I realized that shame was the first consequence of sin, everything clicked. I suddenly understood why shame is still the enemy’s most effective weapon against God’s children today.

If the enemy can get us to question our identity and our worth as children of God, especially when our “private” lives don’t feel as polished as our “public” ministry, he can effectively cause us to become unfruitful in the Kingdom., be it in the home or in ministry.

Shame is part of the wages of death we received when Adam and Eve stepped outside the Father’s presence.

When we think we aren’t living up to expectations, we hit the shame button and start hiding, effectively putting the veil back on so no one can see our glory fading.

To The Leader Who Feels Like A Fraud:

You are not too “messy,” too emotional, or too unworthy to lead.

God is not shocked by your weakness,

He isn’t put off by the fact that you’re a “work in progress.”

He is ready to meet you right where you are, be it in the middle of your living room, in the boardroom, on the mission field, or sitting behind your computer writing. Even when you feel most unworthy.

Your calling was never about being flawless.

It’s about the daily surrender of the old self to the new life in Christ. He knows it’s a process, and if you allow Him, He will transform you, not through your own efforts, but through His grace and your faith in Him.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” — 2 Corinthians 12:9

I’d love to hear from you. If you’re brave enough, please share your thoughts or struggles in the comments below so we can learn from each other. And feel free to share this with someone who might be struggling.

Blessings from an unveiled heart,

Jane

Some points to ponder:

Is there an area of your home life or personal struggle that makes you feel like a “fraud” in ministry? How would it feel to bring that specifically to God today without the filter of shame?

When you feel you’ve missed the mark, is your first instinct to hide from God or to run toward Him?

How does knowing that God is “not shocked by your weakness” change the way you view your yourself today?

Take a moment to write out Isaiah 43:1 and replace “you” with your own name. Read it aloud. What is the Holy Spirit whispering to your heart through that promise right now?

Does This Sound Like You Today?

Recently, Father showed me something that’s been weighing heavily on my heart. And it’s something that I too have struggled with from time to time.

Many of His daughters, especially those serving in ministry, feel like they’re drowning in a sea of self-imposed expectations because they’re trying to navigate a divine calling using a worldly compass.

One of their main fears is that they’re not living up to God’s expectations of them.

When this happens, they inevitably begin to question their worthiness and, eventually, their very calling itself.

The result? The glory of God that is meant to radiate through them begins to fade, hidden behind a veil of their own making.

The Burden of the Law

We all know the story of Moses. After meeting with God on the mountain to receive the Ten Commandments, when he came down his face shone so brightly from being in the presence God, that he had to wear a veil because the Israelites were afraid to look at him.

Not only that, he was also wearing the veil because he didn’t want them to see that the glory was already beginning to fade.

Under the Old Covenant, life was governed by the Law. The mandate was clear:

“Obey Me, and I will be your God... Walk in obedience to all that I command you, that it may go well with you” (Jeremiah 7:23).

If they did their part, God would do His. Talk about having the weight of expectations on you!

But the Israelites struggled because their understanding was veiled, and they simply couldn’t sustain the obedience required on their own.

Now, if Moses’ face shone so gloriously from a temporary encounter with God, how much more brightly should we reflect His glory?

We aren’t just visiting on the mountain; we have His Holy Spirit living within us permanently!

The Heart of the New Covenant

We’re no longer bound by the Old Covenant of “do your part and I’ll do my part”. God doesn’t have those same expectations of us.

We now live under grace. God had promised a shift in how He was going to be relating to His children in the future.

“I will put my instructions deep within them, and I will write them on their hearts. I will be their God, and they will be my people” (Jeremiah 31:33).

Wow! God knew we couldn’t uphold the Law alone. That is why He sent Jesus. In His infinite grace, He didn’t just fulfil His part of being our God - through His Son, He made a way to help us fulfil our part, too. He literally wrote His laws on our hearts, and then He causes us to want to uphold them.

The veil of pride and hard-heartedness that once blinded the Israelites, and us too, had been torn away.

When we come to Christ, the “weight” of trying to live up to what we perceive as God’s expectations of us, is supposed to lift. But sadly, too many of us are still allowing the weight of those supposed expectations to dim our glory.

I remember the first time I truly understood Philippians 2:13:

“For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfil his good purpose.”

Wow, it was like a physical burden had fallen from my shoulders!

I suddenly realized it wasn’t all up to me. I didn’t have to try and do it all myself. Instead, I get to cooperate with what He is already doing in me.

The Trap of the Worldly Compass

But if we’re not careful, somewhere along the way, the lines can get blurry.

We can become so focused on creating the “perfect” ministry or being the “perfect” wife and mother that we take our eyes off the One who called us.

Before we know it, we start neglecting our own spiritual growth and begin measuring our worth by worldly standards: a perfect home, a flawless social media presence, or an “unshakable” spiritual life.

In our quest for perfection, we leave no room for the very grace we preach to others.

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The Call to Abide:

Are you unknowingly putting the veil back on?

Do you feel like you’re drowning under the pressure of what you think God expects of you?

If so, it’s time to take it off.

God has only one primary expectation of you: that you abide in Him.

Stop worrying about whether you’re performing perfectly; He is the one who helps you walk in His will.

Stop comparing your marriage, your home, your ministry to others; your journey is uniquely yours.

Stop hiding the moments where you feel weak just to keep others from seeing the “fading glory.” Those you are called to reach, will benefit much more from seeing that you are just as human as they are.

Identity and authority don’t come from a polished exterior; they come from an unveiled heart that reflects the the glory of the Lord.

As we learn to truly abide in Him, He causes us to become increasingly more like Him, taking us from one degree of glory to the next.

That glory is not meant to be hidden behind a veil!

Let’s connect and reflect:

My dear sister, is your glory being dimmed by the weight of that “worldly compass” you’re carrying around?

Which area of your life feels most affected by the weight of those perceived expectations right now?

Your ministry, your home, your marriage, your sense of worth?

Or perhaps it’s something altogether different.

I’d love to hear from you, and pray for you.

Blessings from an unveiled heart,

Jane

Leave a comment below and let’s encourage one another to walk in the glory that is our for the taking.

This was what the Lord had asked me when I was questioning Him about the meaning of a dream in which He had given me a stern warning!

In this dream I had been sat at a table with what I instinctively knew were leaders in various ministries. We were comfortable in each other’s company, and in our element because we all shared the same passion - for God’s children to come to Christ and to truly know Him. I had tears running down my face, so great was my concern for the lost.

Suddenly, we were no longer sat around the table, but had been violently tossed into what seemed to be a harbour, filthy and filled with all kinds of debris.

In the process of frantically trying to swim to the side, my clothing became caught up in the debris, and I found myself being pulled under. I was desperately trying to grab onto someone’s leg to let them know I was drowning when I was suddenly plucked from the water. As I woke up from the dream, I heard the unmistakable sound of a horn, like a train coming to a level crossing.

The Silent Drowning Of A Leader

Over the next couple of days, as I was spending time with the Father about this dream, and realised that He was calling me to reach His children through my writing, I initially thought He was saying to reach women in general - but when He asked me “Who was sat at the table with you?”, I was shocked to realize it was women leaders, women in ministry that He was calling me to reach, not unbelievers, but women who already know Him, and serve Him.

He went on to show me that so many of us, women in ministry leadership roles, feel like we’re drowning, allowing ourselves to be caught up in all the debris of worldly concerns and the suffocating expectations we allow others to put on us, and often put on ourselves.

We’re so busy “serving” that we’re drowning in the very places we’re meant to be light.

The Warning

The sound of the horn served as a warning to us, that many of us also find ourselves at a crossing. We can carry on as we are, feeling like we’re struggling to breath among all our responsibilities, feeling like we want to give up on the very thing we were once so passionate about - the calling we believed we received from the Father, or we can take a step back, and allow Jesus to unveil all that’s keeping us trapped, all the lies of the enemy we believe, and be reminded of who and what we truly are in Christ.

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A Place At The Table

The Unveiled Leader was born from this dream.

I want to invite you to take a seat at the table with me. My mission is simple, but urgent:

To help women in ministry refocus on the One who called them, unveiling the truth about who they really are behind the title they carry. To help them realize their true identity and power in Christ, when they feel like they’re drowning in a sea of expectations, so that they can once again lead from a place of clarity, power, and an unwavering confidence as a chosen vessel of the Lord.

If you have felt like the water’s closing in over your head while you try to keep a smile on your face for the sake of those you minister to, this space is for you.

It’s time to stop the struggle and come to the surface. Join me, and let’s rediscover who He created us to be, long before we were ever called to the work.

Want a seat at the table? Make sure to hit the subscribe button below so you can receive your weekly dose of encouragement and much more.

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With an unveiled heart,

Jane.

First of all I just want to say a huge “thank you” for subscribing to The Unveiled Leader. I really do appreciate each one of you, and look forward to serving this community as it evolves.

The growth of this publication, which was launched on 16 January 2026, has been significant over the last few weeks.

Born out of a dream in which the Lord showed me His daughters, and in particular those who are in leadership/ministry roles, are drowning under the weight of expectations, because they’re trying to fulfil a divine calling using a worldly compass, I knew it was time to take this seriously.

As I’ve been thinking and praying about the future, and direction of The Unveiled Leader, it’s become clear that a broad, public feed is not sufficient for the deep work required of women in leadership.

So I’m in the process of building The Unveiled Multitude (More about how I decided on that name later).

And while The Unveiled Leader publication will always be free to subscribers, The Unveiled Multitude will be a dedicated, paid subscription tier specifically designed for women in ministry and leadership roles.

But before the doors formally open, I wanted to share the first draft of our manifesto with you:

The Manifesto of The Unveiled Multitude

1. We believe that each woman has a unique God-given purpose and calling.

2. We refuse to accept anything less than the excellence Christ deserves in the fulfilment of our calling.

3. We are building a community of women who are prepared to stand up and proclaim the uncompromised Word of God through their words, lives, businesses and ministry.

4. We will no longer sit back and be silent about how the church identifies with Christ, but still wants to fulfil their divine calling using a worldly compass.

5. We are women who are tired of hiding God’s glory, that’s meant to shine through us, behind a veil for fear of upsetting others.

6. We are committed to using our wealth for the education and establishment of more women who will impact their homes, communities, and the world for the Kingdom.

What’s Next

I’m currently finalizing the infrastructure for this community.

Because not everyone who subscribes to The Unveiled Leader falls within this specific target audience, I would really appreciate your help.

To enable me to identify those of you who are ready to take this next step, I’d appreciate it if you would kindly complete the following poll so I can notify you the moment we are ready to go live.

Please answer the poll below. This ensures that only those interested in this specific leadership tier receive the upcoming details and launch notifications.

Thank you for your continued engagement with The Unveiled Leader. I look forward to seeing who will join us in The Unveiled Multitude.

Blessings,

Jane

PS: If you subscribed to The Unveiled Leader without realising that it’s a publication specifically for women in ministry/leadership, please feel free to unsubscribe - no hard feelings. Or you can stay subscribed and enjoy the free, weekly updates.

I had a sense, even from when I was little, that I was meant for something more. Even though I grew up in a household where Christ wasn’t served, I always remember having this longing to know, and work for a God I really wasn’t even sure was real. I wonder if any of you can identify.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, I was 29 when I eventually fell down on my knees one day and told God, that if He was real, He needed to take over. I couldn’t, and didn’t want to carry on without Him anymore! I can honestly say that that was the best decision I ever made! And what a journey it has been.

God took this shy young woman, who was too afraid to open her mouth, and used her to share His word, and hopefully His love, to a hurting world.

Over the years He has used me to lead various ministries in the local church from Sunday School, to the prayer and outreach ministries. I later got involved in child evangelism where I eventually ended up leading the ministry in the Free State Province of South Africa with an international children’s ministry. I got to speak in congregations, teach at schools and churches, as well as at the Children’s Ministry Institute in South Africa, where I got to help train other missionaries from all over Africa and beyond.

Of course, along with that came the responsibility of building the various different aspects of the ministry and raising funds, which I’m sure those of you who experience the same, is not the most enjoyable part of ministry. Unless that’s your thing of course! I later also trained, and became a Certified Christian Life Coach.

Along the way, the Lord has also been encouraging me to use my love of writing to encourage others. And that brings me to why I am starting The Unveiled Leader.

Jesus recently showed me in a dream that His children, especially leaders, are drowning under the weight of responsibility they place on themselves to perform and prove themselves worthy. They are so caught up in the “doing” of ministry, that they are forgetting the “being”.

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He told me “they need to be reminded of who I created them to be, long before I ever entrusted them with ministry”. And that is what He is entrusting to me now. When I asked Him who it was that He wanted me to reach, I was quite honestly surprised when He showed me it was to be leaders - more specifically women leaders.

He showed me it was because I can identify with what they go through. He also reminded me that age is never a factor. One of my own concerns as I have gotten older, is that “who would want to listen to a little old lady”? (I wish there was a smiley face). Don’t let the snow white hair fool you!

Anyway, I truly believe that as leaders in the Kingdom, not matter in what area, when we learn to set our focus on Him, and not on the title we carry, He is fully willing and able to do way more through us, that we can ever imagine.

I do look forward to “meeting” my fellow leaders. I would love if you could share something about what you do and any specific struggles you face within ministry.

If this feels like a good fit for you, hit the subscribe button below and let’s do this journey together!

God bless till next time!

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About the Author: Jane is a writer and leader, with a secret guilty pleasure of beautiful notebooks. She founded The Unveiled Leader as a home for those who are tired of performing, and are ready to live, and lead, from a position of their identity and authority in Christ, and not from a worldly perspective.