You know the feeling - You’ve been asked to lead the weekly prayer meeting, become the Next Director of the Sunday School, or perhaps facilitate the women’s Bible Study.
At first you’re all excited, honoured that the church leadership, and especially God, have entrusted you with this ministry. You can’t wait to attend that first meeting and do everything you can to make sure you’re well prepared.
But then you walk into that first meeting, or perhaps it’s the 100th meeting, look around at everyone sitting there, all of a sudden you start questioning yourself - Am I really the person to lead this ministry?
You know you’ve been given the mandate, but you still, sometimes even after years, find yourself questioning whether you’re the right person for the job.
Why is that?
Because, on the inside, you’re still waiting for someone to give you “permission” to lead.
When this happens, it usually means one thing – You’ve allowed the debris of other people’s expectations and opinions to distract you from the only One whose opinion counts.
Speaking from experience:
I learned this early on, back in the 90’s, when I was first elected leader of the Sunday School at church.
My responsibilities included holding weekly training sessions for the teachers where we would discuss and prepare the next Sunday’s lesson together.
During our very first meeting, one of the teachers called out in what, at the time, sounded to me like a very loud voice, “Jane, if you want to teach children, you’ll have to learn to speak louder!”
Now, I’m a naturally soft-spoken person, and even though I’m a very competent, trained Instructor of Teachers, and had been teaching Sunday School for some years at that stage, that one comment almost stopped me in my tracks.
I allowed it to bug me so much that I started questioning whether I was really the right person for the role. Was I dynamic or loud enough to lead this ministry?
The truth is, I let a single person’s opinion cause me to believe that perhaps I wasn’t “loud” enough to be a good leader.
After I stopped feeling sorry for myself, I turned to the One Person whose opinion counts more than any other – my Heavenly Father.
I’ll never forget His words to me:
“Take no notice of what she said, go and be the person I created you to be. I created you with that soft voice and gentle, calm spirit. Go and be that person.”
Wow, He’d just given me permission to be me.
From that day on, I understood that my calling and my ability to fulfil it, had nothing to do with the “loudness” of my voice, but everything to do with the authority I have in Christ.
In fact, over the years, as I’d been training teachers and missionaries at different Training Institutes and churches, I had many students come to me and thank me for my calm and gentle way of teaching.
What someone else saw as a “weakness” to be fixed, God used to confirm my authority.
The truth is, many women in ministry are leading from a place of perpetual striving, constantly trying to measure up to other people’s expectations of them, or what they think God expects of them.
We allow ourselves to start believing that if only we’re dynamic enough, organized enough, educated enough, or the big one, wait for it, holy enough, we’ll finally earn our seat at the table.
But Kingdom leadership doesn’t work that way.
In the Kingdom, your authority isn’t something to be earned; it’s something you are given.
We see this in Matthew 28 v 18,19
“All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go, and make disciples…”
As Jesus was about to return to His Father’s side, He was handing His earthly ministry over to the disciples. But that’s not all he was handing them,
When He said: “Therefore, go …” , He was really saying “Because I have all authority, you have all authority.”
He was giving them all the authority, power and ability they would ever need to carry out their mission. It wasn’t something they had to earn by working harder or being better. They received it because of who they were - His disciples.
I’m not the only one!
God showed me recently that many of His daughters, especially those who are leaders of a ministry, are drowning in a sea of debris, because they’re allowing the opinions and expectations of others to distract them from the only One whose opinion counts.
What does that even mean?
It means we work so hard to prove our worthiness, that we’ve taken our eyes off Him and allowed the expectations and opinions of others to determine our worth and efficacy in the Kingdom.
Does this sound familiar? Have you felt like you’re drowning lately?
What does this ‘debris’ look like in our daily lives?
Imposter syndrome that makes you feel like a fraud when you start comparing yourself to others.
Exhaustion caused by trying to juggle a dozen different roles and keeping everyone happy.
Spiritual doubt that asks, ‘Am I holy enough or worthy enough to lead?’
A poverty mindset that traps you in survival mode of “never enough” instead of leading with the authority and confidence that is yours in Christ
Isolation and fatigue that happens when try so hard that you to forget you aren’t in this alone.”
These are just a few examples of what that debris can look like, you may be able to add a few more to the list.
If any of this feel’s familiar to you, you know exactly what I mean by debris.
It’s that mental and spiritual noise inside your head that makes you wonder if you’ve earned your seat at the table.
But here’s the truth we must keep coming back to:
To lead with authority and confidence, we must stop seeking permission from others to lead and fix our focus on the only One whose opinion counts!
A Daughter, not an Employee
We often treat our ministry like a job we’re lucky to have, but God didn’t create you because He had a “leadership vacancy” to fill. He created you first and foremost because He wanted a daughter. He wants a relationship with you.
His love for you isn’t tied to your performance. He loves you because of who you are – His beloved Daughter, created in His image. To be just like Him.
He’d love you even if you never took a single step towards fulfilling your calling.
Stop leading with an orphan mentality
There’s a massive difference between being an orphan and being a daughter .
An orphan leads from a place of survival. One where you always feel you must work harder to prove your worth, or to prove that you deserve a seat at the table.
But a daughter leads from a place of confidence and security in her identity as daughter of God, and the authority that goes with it.
When we learn to fix our eyes on Christ, He reminds us that our authority isn’t based on how loud our voices are, or how “qualified” we feel for the task. It’s something we are given freely when we are His disciples.
Just like Jesus handed His authority over to the disciples, He hands it over to you too. He’s already equipped you with all the authority, ability and confidence you need to fulfil your unique calling.
Think about it this way: The daughter of a King doesn’t have to shout to be heard. She carries a quiet confidence and authority because of whose name she bears.
Her authority isn’t about being the loudest person in the room, but rather it’s found in the quiet confidence that comes from knowing who’s name she bear..
In Christ - you bear the name of Jesus Christ!
How do we clear the debris?
So, how do we go about clearing the debris so we can lead with authority and confidence?
Stop trying to do it all by yourself. The heaviest debris we carry is the lie that it all depends on us. Take an honest look at where you’re striving and remind yourself: I’m not alone in this – He’s the one who’ll establish the work in me.
Silence the “Not Enough” Narrative. Like that teacher who told me I need to learn to speak louder, there’ll always be someone who has an opinion on how you should lead. But A daughter knows her Father’s voice, it should be the only one that defines her.
Understand your rightful position. Have faith, and stand strong, keeping your eyes fixed on the One who has all authority in heaven and on earth. The One who says to you: “Because I have authority, you have authority, therefore go…”
You were never meant to carry the weight of the Kingdom on your shoulders.
So as you step into your next assignment, do it with the confidence of a daughter who knows she is loved without any strings attached.
You aren’t fighting for a seat at the table; you already have one.
Conclusion:
Next time you walk into that Prayer Meeting, Bible Study, or whatever ministry you are called to lead, take a moment to remember Whose daughter you are and ask yourself: “What would a daughter of The King do right now?” Then step out with the confidence and authority that is yours in Christ!
Sometimes the very qualities we think we need to change are the ones God is using to reach others. Such an important reminder!
“The daughter of a King doesn’t have to shout to be heard. She carries a quiet confidence and authority because of whose name she bears.”
I love this. ❤️ Thank you for this beautiful reminder to find our identity and authority as daughters of Christ Jesus.