The Three Pillars for Godly Boundaries - Part 1
And why the effectiveness of your ministry depends on what you choose NOT to do.
Confession Time:
It’s occurred to me, as I’m sitting down to write this article, that in all my time as a leader in various ministries, I don’t believe it ever crossed my mind to consciously set boundaries.
To me, the whole idea of “setting boundaries” has always held a somewhat negative connotation. It somehow felt like people who set boundaries, were shutting someone or something out.
I’d never thought that I had in any way purposefully been setting boundaries, either in life or in ministry. But, as the Lord had reminded me in my previous article, I had in fact been setting boundaries without realising it. I just hadn’t given them a name – boundary!
I thought I was just making decisions to protect what was important to me, in that particular case my marriage. If you haven’t already, you can read about that here.
It was only when the Lord started showing me that the reason His daughters often feel like they are drowning under the weight of expectations, is because of a lack of godly boundaries, that the idea of setting boundaries started becoming a reality for me.
I know many of you reading this experience the same thing.
You’d rather work yourself to the bone, or take responsibility for something that was never yours to carry, rather than be seen as that person who says “no, enough is enough”!
I find it quite interesting that the Father has me, of all people, teaching His daughters about setting boundaries.
It seems He’s taking me up on my request to be taught along with you all. 😊
A Question We Need to Ask – and Answer
As I’ve been leaning into the idea of setting godly boundaries, I’ve realized we need to stop and ask a question that might feel counter-intuitive to everything we know and believe about the subject.
That question is:
What if the effectiveness of our ministry, indeed our very lives, depends on what we choose NOT to do?
In the desire to meet every need and answer every call, is it possible we’ve overlooked the very structures God designed to keep our work holy and on track?
God’s Design for Life and Boundaries:
As I read in the Word of the different instances where God and Jesus seem to set boundaries, it becomes obvious that boundary setting is about one of three things – holiness, stewardship, or protection. Sometimes it more than one.
I’m going to refer to them as the three pillars for godly boundaries.
We also need to consider: if these pillars are meant to define our calling as His daughters, and as leaders, what happens when those pillars are never actually established? When boundaries have never been set? Or, they may have been set, but with the wrong mindset.
This week, we’ll look at the first of those pillars – holiness.
God’s Design for Holiness:
Right in the very beginning, when God created man according to His image and likeness, we see Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden, experiencing a very close, intimate walk with the Father.
They were created (designed) to be just like Him, including being holy as He is holy.
So, because sin hadn’t yet entered the world, we can safely say that they too were without sin. That was always God’s original plan for mankind. That we would live in a state of His holiness, rather than from Satan’s sinfulness.
They loved Him, and each other, as He loved them. They experienced His joy, His peace, His patience, every single attribute of God formed part of who they were.
Wow, can you imagine what kind of marriage they must have had?
Then it all went pear-shaped
Just when they probably thought life couldn’t be better, along comes Satan with his sneaky plan to get revenge for being thrown out of Heaven.
Satan was once a high-ranking angelic being who became so full of pride, wanting to be equal with God, that he was cast out of heaven.
He was jealous of the bond between God and His children, and the dominion God had given them over all the earth. He wanted what they had. He also saw the devotion God’s children had for Him, and he, Satan, wanted that devotion.
And so, we see Satan convincing Adam and Eve, that God didn’t really want them to be just like Him. He didn’t want them becoming as knowledgeable as what He was, and therefore that’s the reason He forbade them from eating from the tree of knowledge of good and evil.
The moment Adam and Eve heard that, they suddenly wanted what God apparently didn’t want them to have – unlimited knowledge, and along with that, power.
When they rebelled against God and ate from the tree, Satan thought he’d achieved his goal. He’d tricked them into becoming prideful – wanting more knowledge and power – just as he had done.
But Holiness and Evil Cannot Co-exist
We know that God is inherently Holy, meaning He is entirely pure and without sin. Even the atmosphere round Him is one of holiness.
So just like a room is no longer dark when you switch on the light, evil cannot be where holiness is.
That’s why Satan was cast from heaven, and mankind was cast out of the garden of Eden.
The moment they disobeyed God, Adam and Eve no longer had His holy nature, but had instead the fallen, evil nature of Satan. They could no longer be in God’s presence.
God Puts a Boundary in Place
That’s when we see God putting probably the most important boundary ever in place.
Genesis 3 v 24
After He drove the man out, he placed on the east side of the Garden of Eden cherubim and a flaming sword flashing back and forth to guard the way to the tree of life.
By putting this “boundary” in place, God was not only guarding the tree of life, but He was also protecting the future of His children.
By shutting down access to the tree of life, and preventing them from eating from it, and being stuck in that fallen state for all eternity, He was ensuring that they (we) would eventually be able to find our way back to Him, and He knew that that would only be able to happen through His Son Jesus Christ.
What does God’s Holiness have to do with us?
The answer: everything!
When we come to Christ, we are meant to exchange the old, fallen, evil nature and life of Satan for the new, holy nature and life of Christ.
2 Corinthians 5 v 17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!
Galatians 2 v 20
I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.
If my old, sinful life has gone, and Jesus’s new, holy life has been returned to me, then I am called to be holy, just as He is holy.
I wonder why, as Christians, we feel so uncomfortable with the idea of referring to ourselves as holy beings when the Bible clearly says that is who we are.
1 Peter 1 v 15-1
But just as He who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.”
Embracing your holiness is an essential pillar, not only for life, but for setting godly boundaries.
Unfortunately, the modern-day church has taken largely to focusing on the fact that you can accept Jesus as your Saviour and be saved, therefore going to heaven when you die.
We’re told to read our Bible and pray, and get involved in a church ministry if we want to be seen as being really “holy”, but in very few churches over the years, have I heard, or been exposed to in-depth teachings on what our salvation means for us while we are still here on earth.
All those things we are told to do, can end up becoming “works” we do without them having any real impact on who we are meant to be becoming. The very image and reflection of God here on earth. And the reason for that is that we are doing all those works using a worldly compass, with a worldly mindset.
That’s why we often look at the state of the world in despair and wonder why, as Christians, we aren’t having a bigger impact.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve always been naïve enough to believe that as children of God, we have world-changing authority and power.
Why aren’t we seeing it to any significant extent?
Could it be because we don’t understand that once we’re returned to Christ, we literally have His nature, which is holy, returned to us? It’s not something we have to strive to achieve or become, it’s who we are!
So, if the life of Christ, which is now in me, is holy, why am I still doing life and trying to set boundaries according to how the world does?
It’s Time to Set up godly Boundaries That Reflect Who we Truly Are
Colossians 3 v 23
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters
For me this verse has taken on new meaning. Instead of just working as if I’m working for the Lord, I am reminding myself that, if Jesus lives in me, which His word says He does, then I should be working as though it’s Him working through me – which He is.
Would He be working through me using a “worldly compass”, or according to His holy nature?
If I have His life, I also have His holiness. Everything I do should be done with that in mind.
So, with the pillar of holiness in mind, how can what I choose NOT to do, influence the effectiveness of my ministry?
What a Pillar of Holiness Looks Like:
Quite simply it’s:
Choosing NOT to continue allowing the world to influence the way you live and serve.
We must start operating from our position and identity as representatives of Christ in everything we do, including setting boundaries.
We were created to reflect His image and likeness, including His holiness.
This does not mean we walk around with a “holier than thou” attitude.
It does mean that we become more conscious of whether our words and actions reflect, and glorify, the image of God.
We don’t go around “proclaiming” our holiness – we live from a position of holiness because that’s who we were destined to be before the foundation of the earth.
Ephesians 1 v 4
“Even as He chose us in him before the foundation of the earth, that we should be holy and blameless before him in love”.
When we start living and serving from and through His holiness, everything we do, including setting boundaries, will reflect His image. That alone, will make our life and ministry more credible and sustainable.
By choosing to say “No” to worldly behaviours and thought patterns, be it our own, or those of others who would seek to influence us, we’re building a godly boundary that will confirm who we are and protect the very life and ministry He has entrusted to us.
Conclusion:
As the Lord has been teaching me about setting boundaries, I find myself automatically starting to think differently about every aspect of my life, including my marriage, my children, and my ministry.
As I grow in my understanding of, and confidence in who I was created to be, my mind is being renewed, and I’m becoming less and less “intimidated” by what the world may think of me.
That doesn’t mean I look down on others, it means I can increasingly see things and people through God’s eyes. That creates a desire within me that all should come to know Him and experience the fullness of what He paid for on the cross. It wasn’t just a ticket to heaven.